Sunday, 3 May 2015


I find that I'm hyper aware of myself when I'm going through a change. This probably has a lot to do with the fact that my changes are quite drastic.

A lot will change at once and it will reflect in everything from my speech to my taste in music to my hair colour. Of course I am still the same person- but a very different brand of myself.

Sometimes I try completely new things, sometimes I revert to things I loved in the past. I'm currently doing both.

I'm knee deep in my 70s punk phase all over again. I remember my first punk phase (it was more punk pop like Green Day and Good Charlotte though), my second (Sid and Nancy was my favourite film for a very long time) and now I'm in my third. The Clash, Buzzcocks, Richard Hell and the Voidoids, The Adicts, Ramones, Gen X, The Jam... dreamy sigh. Which sadly means I've been paying much less attention to korean music lately (but still keeping a distant watch on Block B as always).

As I get older I find I go less through 'phases' but more evolutions, not always completely dropping what I was doing in the previous form. I've had pink hair for over a year and a half now, I've been collecting character merch like Sanrio San-x My Little Pony etc. for a decade, I haven't worn jeans in 4 years. That's part of growing up- you figure out what you like and keep doing that. I could possibly be finding my niche. But watch me say that and move on to the next thing...

A big part of my current shift is that my lifestyle went 180 in December last year when I got my second job. I went from a casual store employee with a 5am bedtime to being an office employee who starts at 7am. This is the first time since I left school in 2011 that I've been up and out 5 days a week. 

Working in an office meant I had to do a bit less of fun stuff like sticking rhinestones to my face and more high buns, dress shoes. Less denim jackets and sneakers, more day planners and phone manner. I've started wearing heels a lot and getting more into himekaji/gyaru, namely picking up a lot of LizLisa, DreamV and Penderie items. I put together a spank! coord and find myself yearning for florals and My Melody. I've been doing a lot of clothes shopping. I need to start selling some of my old things.

I keep finding I want to appear 'opulent' rather than casual and cute.. I used to be quite happy with a cotton dress and reeboks but now I reject plastic rings for my Tarina Tarantino one, choose Milk heels over comfier rocking horse shoes, wear my LizMelo handbag whenever possible. This relates back to the growing up thing I guess. I just don't want to be one of those people that thinks they can't be into 'cute' any more because they're getting older. I'm trying to find mature and sophisticated ways to incorporate my pink and Sanrio into my look.

I'm rambling, and I have been rambling about this for the past few months on my twitter, but so much has come together for me in such a short time it feels like graduation. I never graduated high school, I was stuck in limbo for over three years not knowing what to do or what I even wanted to do. Things came together so well that I am now able to save up for a place, plan my wedding, and I'm also more confident about doing menial things like buying lunch because I'm being social every day and not in an anxious slump anymore.

So, happy graduation.

Monday, 6 April 2015

Taffadam Engagement!

Hi there, blogspot!
Three weeks ago on the 21st of March my fiance Adam and I celebrated our engagement with around 70 of our closest family and friends.

We spent a few months planning around my kitsch teen prom valentines vision. I wanted everything in red, pink and white- including the food. Treats included a white chocolate fountain, strawberry and cream sandwiches, custom fairy bread, 2 kilograms of jellybeans and vegan fairy cupcakes.

Unseen are the 50 cans of Dr.Pepper, Cherry Coke and Strawberry Fanta!
I got a custom gel set at Wonderland Nail Room, my new favourite nail salon. Ai is always super receptive to my ideas and is super sweet and fun to hang out with.
The cupcakes with the photo of Adam and I slapped on top were brought by my evil best friend Bonnie.

The night flew by stupidly fast- Adam and I barely catching a glimpse of each other as we ran about greeting guests and taking photos. My gorgeous cousin Naomi took all of the photos you're seeing here and helped me set up the photobooth to my tacky specifications. Follow this link to check out her photography page as well as all of the party photos not featured here.

There's the couple!

The big emotional part of the night where I actually got to slow down and think was when both of our mums made speeches. Adams mum made jokes about Adams cooking and me coming over to use the internet, and my mum spoke about the different struggles Adam and I had been through together and how we had found life partners in each other through those moments. I also spoke to the guests about how loved I felt that everyone had come to celebrate Adam and I as most of my family live overseas. It was very special to have my surrogate family of mine and my mums friends together to celebrate with.

What would I have done differently? Probably been more forceful with mine and Adams friends about coming, because the night was gorgeous and I'm a bit sad that a few of our friends missed out. It was truly special and went just as I would want it to go- the playlist never skipped, the food didn't spoil- and Adam is simply perfect.

Here's to the following year of stressful wedding planning!

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